Thoughts on Goal Setting
Many of us (including me!) like to start the new year off with resolutions, goals, or intentions. There’s something a little bit magical to me about milestones like a new year or a birthday - a chance to reflect and think of things you’d like to change going forward. While I don’t think there is a need to design an entirely new person every January 1st, I do think there is a lot of value in striving for changes we’d like to see in our lives! After all, life is about movement, and if there is no movement or change, we tend to stagnate - and stagnation in Chinese medicine is never a good sign.
But, our goals and intentions can often quickly fall by the wayside. Sometimes, it’s because life gets busy and we lose track. Other times, it’s because the goal wasn’t realistic to begin with or it doesn’t align well with our values or lifestyle.
In this entry, I am sharing some ideas to keep in mind when setting your goals, and the next entry will have a few of my favorite planners and DIY ideas to keep up with your goals!
What’s the difference between a goal and a habit?
For the purposes of what I am writing here, when I mention a goal, I’m talking about a larger project or concept that you want to accomplish, such as “run a marathon” or “read 50 books this year.“ It’s something that can be broken down into smaller steps to work towards achieving it.
A habit is a daily (or mostly daily) practice you want to do, like “drink 6 glasses of water a day” or “go for a walk 3 times per week.”
There’s a lot of overlap between the two, and often achieving a goal means following through on a habit, so the distinction isn’t that important.
Before setting a goal
I am a fan of taking some time to really think and plan out your goals! Here are a few tips to consider when making goals and intentions:
Think about your “why” for the new goal. Is it something you want to do, or do you think you should do? Is it coming from a place of guilt or shame or is it from a place of self-compassion and desire for change? How can you create a goal that improves your life from a place of joy instead of punishment?
For example, a lot of exercise or weight loss goals can fall into the “guilt and shame” bucket! Keep in mind that health doesn’t strictly stem from losing weight. Consider trying goals like “eat 4 servings of veggies per day” (a measurable goal with actual health impacts) or “do 30 minutes of physical activity 3 times per week” instead of a goal for weight loss.
Consider making goals that are for things that are exciting and fun for you. If you dread the thing you are working towards, it will be extra difficult to follow through. If its something you have to do but aren’t excited about (for whatever reason), how can you make it as enjoyable as possible? Or…is it something you don’t really need to do?
What personal value does this goal represent for you? This can take some work if you haven’t already identified your personal values, but recognizing what those are, and then aligning your goals to them, can help you stay focused on your goals aligning with what you truly value, rather than passing trends (or guilt and shame).
For example, if one of your values is “curiosity” or “learning,” one of your goals may be “complete a continuing education class with DMACC” in a hobby or skill you’ve been meaning to learn, or “take a ceramics class” and sign up with the Des Moines Art Center or Kunzler Studios.
Think short term. Rather than tell yourself you’ll finish an entire Duolingo language, you goal could be “I will complete one lesson in Duolingo each day for 3 months” or “I’ll spend 10 minutes every day for 3 months in Duolingo” - much more achievable goals.
Giving yourself a shorter timeframe allows you to re-evaluate - are you even enjoying this goal? What is going well? What isn’t going well?
If short-term works better for you, consider making quarterly goals instead! There’s no rule saying you have to make year long goals.
Think seasonally. This can be both metaphorical (the season you are in in your life), but also literally.
If you are currently burnt out and extended beyond your limits, telling yourself you’ll start a new exercise regimen and overhaul your eating is both unrealistic and not kind to yourself. Consider goals that help you where you are at this moment. Maybe that means your goal instead is “create better work-life balance” (with habits like saying no to additional commitments or not checking work email after a certain time every day).
Think about the actual season, too! If winter has you feeling like you want to slow down and hibernate, embrace that feeling and think of something you’d like to try within that framework. Maybe that means reading a certain number of books or trying out a new hobby!
Add something to your life, instead of subtracting. It is difficult to just stop a particular activity or habit you currently have. Adding or replacing that habit is typically easier! So, if your goal is to stop snacking right before bed because it ruins your sleep, try replacing it with something else, like a cup of tea. If you’re constantly hungry right before bed, it may be a sign you didn’t eat a large enough dinner, so you could add more food to your dinner. Or, it could be that you’re staying up so late that your body gets hungry again! So, you may go to bed earlier or eat dinner later. (You’ll need to figure out what that habit is giving you to be able to replace it with something effectively.)
After setting a goal
The key to successfully following through on your goal is to reflect regularly on it. This can sound tedious but doesn’t have to be! This is (at least) two parts:
Write down what you’re working on that day to move you towards your goal (or track the habit that is leading to it)
Reflecting at the end of the day on how it went. It can be a quick check-in each day, or a longer reflection if you have time. Every day, in addition to just checking off whether or not you completed the goal in a habit tracker, ask yourself something like “what went well today?” or “how did I work towards my goal today?” and write it down. (The Future Self Mapping linked below talks more about this!)
I can’t emphasize enough: regular check-ins and reflection truly are the magic sauce of habit creation and goal setting.
A few tips:
Pick a planner or journal (or app) that you’re excited about and enjoy using, but also one that doesn’t take up more time and brainpower than you have. This can be the downfall of a lot of planners: if it takes a lot of time each day/week to set up, you are less likely to keep using it! Keep it simple.
Write your goal on a post-it note and review it every day. Every day. Set a reminder in your phone for the goal to pop up every morning. Write it at the top of your planner every day. Whatever it takes to remember what you’re working towards!
This is especially true if you’re neurodivergent/ADHD - honestly, micromanaging and constantly reminding yourself of your goal to keep it fresh in your mind is key to even remembering it exists. (Goal setting with ADHD is its own topic - I’d be happy to write about it if people are interested!)